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Shinteki [Done] Pixel


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Shinteki [Done]

3 posters

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1Shinteki [Done] Empty Shinteki [Done] Tue Sep 10, 2013 10:42 pm

Hiromi

Hiromi
Konoha Anbu
Konoha Anbu



Shinteki [Done] 37-39
"Don't fear what cannot be seen, for my speed will surpass all"

Shinteki [Done] 93288542



Name: Shinteki
Nickname: Shin
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Village: Ex - Tanimuragakure [ 8 Tsukiakari Leader]
Village Rank: Tsukiakari Leader
Skill Rank: S

Shinteki [Done] Apii

Height:
6.4 ft
Weight: 165 lps
Hair color: Black
Eye Color: Black
Looks Image:
Looks Description: (Optional if you have a picture)

Shinteki [Done] Personj

Personality Description:

Likes:
1. Power
2. Death
3. Destruction
4. Fear

Dislikes:
1. Love
2. Peace
3. Cuddling

Catch Phrases:
- "Fire may seem everlasting, filled with hope but I am water, and I will devour you until there is no flame to see."

- "You are nothing but a bird, I will squash you, pathetic fool."

Nindo:
"Hate me if you must, but be careful, for my hatred will consume your soul."

Shinteki [Done] 86155345

Clan Name: Uchiha
Bloodline Name: Sharingan / Copy-wheel Eye
Bloodline Ability:
Spoiler:
Location: Tanimuragakure
Clan History:
Members: 1/5
Jutsu:
Spoiler:




Shinteki [Done] Wandi

N/A

Shinteki [Done] Sumu

N/A

Shinteki [Done] 98095886

Jutsu Specialist: Genjutsu , Fuinjutsu , Ninjutsu
Chakra Pool: 300
Element Affinity: Katon
Sub Element Affinity: Raiton
Jutsu:

These jutsu are automatically learned by you're
character.
Spoiler:


Shinteki [Done] Handr

History:


RP Sample:



Last edited by Shinteki on Tue Sep 17, 2013 7:05 am; edited 5 times in total

2Shinteki [Done] Empty Re: Shinteki [Done] Mon Sep 16, 2013 10:22 pm

Hiromi

Hiromi
Konoha Anbu
Konoha Anbu

Done.

3Shinteki [Done] Empty Re: Shinteki [Done] Mon Sep 16, 2013 11:52 pm

Revy

Revy

Remove the WIP from the title if this is done.

You are an uchiha which is fine, but you cannot have the MS as it is a limited spot and all the MS spots are taken so it will just have to be the 3 eyed sharingan. So remove the MS techniques please.

4Shinteki [Done] Empty Re: Shinteki [Done] Tue Sep 17, 2013 1:13 am

Hiromi

Hiromi
Konoha Anbu
Konoha Anbu

Edited.

5Shinteki [Done] Empty Re: Shinteki [Done] Tue Sep 17, 2013 2:14 am

Revy

Revy

You have ninjutsu on your character yet you have no ninjutsu as a spec.


Utakata - Ephemeral -- Remove as this is banned as shown on the banned list and the jutsu itself with the [banned] marker at the end.

So with what you have currently you are the leader of the bad guys for the site yet you have very little jutsu because if you dont have ninjutsu as a spec you would have to get rid of them all leaving you with like one genjutsu and the academy stuff this to me is not really an S rank bad guy material.

Your clan name is Uchiha not uchha.

Overall you need to work on this app better as it is not up to S rank quality more persona is needed. You need to at least have jutsu for all areas of your specs in the correct jutsu format for our site located in the jutsu creation center. A Kage level which is what you are can have 45 jutsu and currently you have 1 which is a genjutsu.

6Shinteki [Done] Empty Re: Shinteki [Done] Tue Sep 17, 2013 2:25 am

Hiromi

Hiromi
Konoha Anbu
Konoha Anbu

Edited, I wanted to do the jutsu and stuff like that desperate so I personally won't get confused.

7Shinteki [Done] Empty Re: Shinteki [Done] Tue Sep 17, 2013 3:24 am

Revy

Revy

Still not really enough tbh this is supposed to be the leader of the bad guy at this moment in time I would not give it about a chunin rank. Your persona needs to be at least 2 paragraphs. 5 jutsu for an S rank kage level character just really no again might as well be a chunin.

8Shinteki [Done] Empty Re: Shinteki [Done] Tue Sep 17, 2013 3:26 am

Hiromi

Hiromi
Konoha Anbu
Konoha Anbu

I'm going to edit it all when I get the chance, don't worry. Because of my phone I didn't really have time etc to do it.

9Shinteki [Done] Empty Re: Shinteki [Done] Tue Sep 17, 2013 4:24 am

Revy

Revy

Okay dont post again on your app till it is edited then I will know you have made the changes.

10Shinteki [Done] Empty Re: Shinteki [Done] Tue Sep 24, 2013 1:00 am

Katsuro

Katsuro

Please add the WiP back to the title of the thread and you have 3 days to finish this before it gets moved for inactivity.

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